Between a Father and Son

I hear the thump, slap, thump of Vinny crawling down the hall as the waterfall tones just began to emit from somewhere in the bathroom region.

"Hey son! What am I doing? I'm peeing standing up!"

I chuckled at just how proud he was of that fact. Thank God for small favors - someone in this house pees in the toilet.

Then things took a dark turn.

"Oh, no... no stay - AHH - AH AHHHHHHHH! NO Vi ce! NOOOO! Uhhhhh-oh MAN!"

My stomach lurched, "Did he just.... Did he just come in contact with the stream?"

"Maybe."

"Oh... Close the DOOR!"

"It's fine. It's going to be okay."

"You peed on our son?" He flushed.

"1. I didn't pee on him. It was more like he got part of the spray. 2. It was an educational experience." Then to the boy he said, "Someday son, you too will be able to stand and pee on things... That's what you get." The same words he spoke to me when he accidentally punched me in the face on our third date.

"Guys get to move heavy things and piss on stuff."

And that concludes today's lesson in Top Shelf Parenting at the Summers House.