Scene From a Marriage

Setting: Morning, sunlight is just begining to break through the windows. I walk into the dining room holding the baby, followed by Matt. I set the baby down and turn to face my husband, hair still spikey from sleep.

Me, "What is that?" (indicating a sawdust like material covering the buffet.)

Matt, "I don't know. Did you taste it?"

"No... Why would I taste it?"

"Well, to see if it's salty or sweet." This makes perfect sense to him. I can barely stand to watch as he dabs his pinky finger on his tongue, touches the sawdust in question and places his finger back in his mouth. "Hmm... it's neutral."

My attention is momentarily diverted to the cat that lumbers through the room. He's put on a couple of pounds over the season. Then I remember the new cat litter we'd gotten. The new, very messy, cork colored non-toxic cat litter that was now scattered next to his box and slowly encroaching on the bathroom floor. The sort of material that would probably look as inviting to roll in as a dead fish to a dog. I pictured Eli, like a chinchilla, rolling in and shaking off the excess dust to help him groom his luxurious tabby furs 'cause let's be honest people, no one else is running a brush through that hair these days.

I looked back at my husband. Not unlike a dog around a- SQUIRREL! He's completely moved on. I debate the helpfulness of sharing my revelation. Then he looked like he was coming in for a kiss.

"It's cat litter."

"What?"

"Dude, you totally just ate cat litter."

"Really?"

"The cat rolled in it, then probably jumped up there and shook it off. See, it's on the floor, too."

"WHAT?"

"Dude, you totally just ate cat litter!"



Eli is not impressed.