More first days

Today was the day that half the metro area parents parents posted smiling pictures of their smiling kids heading off for a new school year. Here's mine:

Yeah. Psyched. Feel the excitement radiating through the lens.

I don't know. I don't know how I'm doing. I don't know how he's doing. I just have no clue. I'm trying to get him excited, but I'm trying to listen to his feelings and validate his concerns. I get it - this place has no built in friends. It's all about free play - so there are no jungle gyms. In his mind, these are two things that create The Most Boring Awful Everything Ever.

Ugh - but the other parents sought me out, they greeted me, asked questions, helped. The staff is so unbelievably kind. I'm not sure I've encountered this amount of nice-ness in any one place - and it seems genuine! I'm cynical enough to be waiting for the other shoe to drop. Like, we're going to find out that I have to join a sister-wife collective or something. Instead of cocking my eyebrow, I just tried to be gracious and say thank you as I lingered with the other parents over coffee, banana bread and babka this morning.

I really hoped that once I picked him up, things would have lightened up. He'd be happier. His face lit up when he saw me, he waited, unsure of himself to say his goodbye to his teacher and then grabbed me around the middle. He reached both his hands around my somewhat-recently-vacated belly and gave it a good jiggle.

Another mom that I'd met that morning introduced herself to Vin and pulled over her son who is in his class. The boy said, "Oh yeah - you were playing in the fort with the ground wasps!"

Vinny said, "No, I wasn't."

"No, you were. I saw you and those other guys... in the fort from last year?"

"Oh. We...we took it down. No, we covered the wasp nest." I know Vinny is terrified of bees after he got stung a couple of years ago. He was also defeatist about the forts when he first started. So, I was encouraged that he was at least out there doing that with some other mystery kids.

The boy's denial made the conversation turn awkward quickly. When the baby started crying, we headed for our car.

I tried asking him open ended questions. "What happened after I dropped you off?"

"I don't remember."

Maybe I needed to be more specific. "After I dropped you off, did you all introduce yourselves?"

"No."

"What were the other kids like?"

Grumbles.

"Was there time to write more in your science journal?"

"I don't know how to write anything."

Stoptalkingyou'reonlymakingthisworkdon'tsayanythingstopaskinghimquestions.

"Did you introduce yourself to the new kids?"

"I tried, but they told me to shush."

"Do you want to go to the coffee shop and get a treat?"

"Sure."

So, at least there was that. And I was wearing sunglasses, so he couldn't see me tear up. I just want him to be okay. We'll get there. It's just going to take some time.