It was a typical wintry morning. I went into the boy's room to help get him up for school. He pressed his head back into the pillow and groaned, "I don't want to go to school! I hate school!" My heart broke for him. My sweet little boy who had adored preschool and could not wait to get to kindergarten had faltered in his first foray into "real school." We had sent him to the same elementary school as his friend from down the street who is a year ahead of him.
There was trouble right away when when the school bus driver got lost. Another day he took a cavalier spin around town and didn't get the kids home until an hour after they were supposed to be dropped off. (You one but very important job to do, bus driver. Consider installing Google Maps on your phone.)
Then Vinny of been bullied and I went on the warpath. There were some kids who were nasty to him on the school bus. I reached out to the principal in an irate email. I got almost no response. I reached out to his teacher again, nothing. The only person who reached out to me who comforted me by telling me that she knew what a special kid Vin was the teacher's aide. Of course, I found out near the end of the school year that she was being let go. Her along with the school nurse and the science teacher...
Being pregnant I was focusing on not barfing most days. I wasn't listening to my instincts about what was going on with Vin. But as we visited his class for his teacher conferences where we found he was doing pretty well, A little alarm bell went off in my head. I mentioned to the teacher how he continued to tell me he hated school. Who hates kindergarten? She was shocked to hear this.
Kindergarten has gone from what I remember as rug time, playing with friends, and learning the general lay of the land for your school career. Now it's all about rote memorization and getting those kids reading just as soon as they walk through the door. Some kids are ready. I don't know that all are - or should be. I don't know.
At this point it was too far gone to apply for another school, but I did. I tried so hard to get him in somewhere else in St. Paul. I've been calling the placement center enough to be classified as an official pest. The waiting lists haven't moved - not at all...
I reached out to a friend of mine who teaches at a Montessori school - assuming there was no way we could ever afford a Montessori school. However, the more I read the more sense to me - it made sense to the way that but he learns. I knew I had to try something. I have been agonizing over this decision. He says he doesn't want to switch schools, but my very social, very adorable, happy kid has become progressively more unhappy the more time he spends at that school.
I know as parents we all feel like our kids are special shining stars. They're all unique little snowflakes who should be treated as treasures. But aren't they? On the two occasions that I visited Vinny school I was exhausted by the day that he had set out before that. There were so many worksheets. So many potential wrong answers. So much transitioning from do this be here do that - and no one was really listening to anyone else. It it just didn't jibe with the way that I know that he learns.
All this summer he's been every day digging in a dirt hole outside our front door, which is deceptively simple workl but he's also learning about the earthworms he's talking to the neighbors he's learning the way things operate things work and he's so happy to be a part of our little community. He is so happy to be given a job and a task to complete and a way to participate.
When he follows his own path, he can't learn enough about nature about the way things work lately he's been helping the neighbor kids saw and nail and glue and spray paint things together. These are not things we do at my house. But it would be very useful for him to learn how to do something. Especially, since his parents can't hang a curtain rod. (I'm not kidding - we've try to figure out how to hang a curtain rod for two solid years. The struggle is real.)
So when I found a Montessori school that was nearby in a beautiful location small but not too small and big enough was really kind intelligent people who lucky for me are food fans… It seem like a good fit.
The main problem with this fit was that we discovered each other about a month before school is scheduled to start. I've been way late to the game and suffering from a great amount of guilt that I've been focusing on baking one child in attending to the needs of the one that already came out.
Today I got the news that we've been waiting for Vinny's been excepted to the school. We went and visited it and he immediately started talking more showing me more she's really excited. He scared though he scared to leave his friends he scared to leave for school that he knows and he doesn't want to be separated from his good friend from down the street. Still... this feels right.
I'm hopeful. I'm scared. No idea how this is gonna work. I barely know how are going to pay for it. I just know that I think school shouldn't have to suck. I'm hoping this is the year that he thrives. I hope that we found the right place for him. I hope that I'm doing this right. So tomorrow, the training wheels come off. We'll get that backpack strapped on and we are back to school.
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